Five Stages of Studying for Finals

It's the end of finals week(end) at Grove City, and in honor of the countless hours of studying I and my fellow peers have done, I present to you the Five Stages of Studying:

1. Denial: this first, and really formative stage of studying is crucial. So what if you have a huge test in five hours, it's a whole five hours from now! There is plenty of time to nap, watch reruns on TV, and eat cheetos. You'll get there eventually, but until then you have a Facebook to check and countless devoted followers to tweet at.

2. Anger: Once the stage of denial passes, and you dust off your textbook that was propping up your TV and print out that study guide that an overachiever emailed to you, anger sets in. "How dare my professor make me study for this final?! Haven't I done enough for this guy already? As if the past three tests I crammed for and the several drafts of papers I procrastinated weren't enough, now he wants me to take another test on information I've probably already been tested on! This world isn't fair! This college hates me! GAHHHHHH!" So you sit there sortof studying meanwhile fuming with righteous indignation.

3. Bargaining: After the anger passes, and you realize that every college student in the history of college has taken finals, you begin to bargain with yourself. Things like, "If I study for these next 4 hours, then I can take a break and buy an entire pizza to eat by myself" or "If I just memorize these 200 note cards I will be done with studying." begin to slip into your head. Pretty soon, with the prospects of lots of fattening food or a nap on the horizon, studying becomes possible and you are actually motivated to get started.

4. Depression: Approximately 12 minutes into studying you realize that your expectations for yourself were really unrealistic, and that the only things you can do for 4 hours consistently are nap and look at cat pictures on the internet. And that 2 flashcards of memorization is incredibly difficult, let alone the 200 you have in front of you. So you just lay your head down on the desk and cry for a while. There's no way your going to pass now!

5. Acceptance: Drying your tears, you sit up and realize that maybe this won't be so bad, if you just sit down and do it. So, with about 2 hours to spare, you sit down and accept that you've got to study for finals. That you're not going to die, and that maybe just maybe you'll pass this thing.

After traversing through the emotional turmoil of the five stages of grief er… finals, you will be ready to study. But I cannot guarantee you'll be ready for your test. So good luck to those who haven't taken your finals yet, and just remember that this is a natural process.