66 Excuses to Skip the Gym

If you’re anything like me, going to the gym makes you want to crawl right back into bed. That awful sweaty feeling you get before, during and after you run jog walk briskly is not worth that supposed health benefits that nutritionists, and doctors, and skinny people claim it is. So, to my kindred spirits, I offer you the following: 66 excuses COMPLETELY LEGITIMATE AND VALID reasons to skip the gym:

1. I have a test tomorrow
2. I have a test next week
3. I had a test yesterday, and I need to recover mentally
4. I just really have a lot of reading (my Twitter feed… but who has to know the details?!)
5. I have to take a quiz (on Buzzfeed...)
6. It's too cold out to walk all the way to the gym
7. It's too hot out to walk all the way back from the gym
8. None of my cute workout clothes are clean
9. I just worked out yesterday, I need to rest my muscles… that's totally a real thing
10. I just worked out last week… don't want to break the cycle
11. I haven't worked out in a month, there's no point starting today
12. I just ate, my food needs to digest
13. I need to eat, can't work out on an empty stomach
14. I ate too much, I'm going to be too full… for the rest of the week
15. I already ate somewhat healthy today (disregard the cheeseburger at lunch and that bag of cheetos I just scarfed down) so it wouldn't be fair to my body to work out too!
16. I haven't eaten healthy at all today, I don't want all those fat calories to turn to under-quality muscle… that's totally a real thing too

17. I might sweat and I don't have time to shower

18. If I workout, I am just making more laundry for myself and clearly wasting money

19. I might miss catching my favorite TV show

20. I need to update my workout playlist first
21. I might miss a time of real productivity
22. I promised my friend I would go with her… I'll wait for her to text me
23. I'm having a good hair day… I can't let the gym mess that up!
24. I'm have a bad hair day… my obligatory gym selfie would look terrible!
25. I like having curves! I don't need to workout to feel good about myself. (although it might help me to walk up stairs without feeling breathless…)
26. I think I have a headache
27. I think I have a stomachache

28. I should really call my mom

29. I should really call my grandma
30. I already got in my pajamas so… that's a lot of effort
31. I was just about to get in my pajamas

32. I should probably do the dishes

33. Or take out the trash

34. Come to think of it, I haven't flossed in a while

35. I should definitely organize my DVD collection RIGHT NOW.
36. I should definitely check Pinterest for new workout ideas before I go

37. I have to feed my cat…

38. Oh wait… I have to get a cat so I can feed it
39. I bet cats wouldn't go to the gym, why should you succumb
40. I don't want to get so fit I become one of those people who brags about working out all the time on social media
41. I also don't want to be one of those fat people who talks about working out, and everyone is like, "Yeah, might want to find a new hobby, yours doesn't seem to be working for you…"
42. Did I say I should vacuum yet? Yeah… I should vaccuum.
43. My Netflix doesn't stream very well on the gym wifi

44. I think I lost one of my tennis shoes

45. I don't have good socks for the gym

46. My bangs don't pull up into a good "gym ponytail" right now

47. I should really catch up on my schoolwork

48. I should really catch up on my sleep
49. I should really catch up on the latest episode of New Girl

50. It's possible I have a pulled muscle
51. Or I could pull a muscle at the gym… no one wants that!
52. I need to renew my library books
53. But first I need to check out some library books so I have something to renew

54. Paul says to pray without ceasing and that starts now… step aside gym, I am PRAYING.
55. I can't fill up my Camelback because I don't have a filter for my Brita
56. I'm thirsty… don't want to be dehydrated at the gym
57. I have a meeting (in 4 hours) wouldn't want to do anything to jeopardize my punctuality
58. I should check my email first

59. And probably my Twitter feed

60. And definitely Instagram

61. And while I'm at it, I might as well look at Facebook

62. I'm sortof bored er… depressed. I should definitely make some cookies to cheer myself up!

63. No point in going to the gym after I've eaten cookies… everyone knows that

64. I haven't exfoliated in a while. I should really get on that.

65. Did someone say "Taco Bell run?!"

66. Honestly, I have a blog post to write.

Live that fatty life!

Megan