Friday, May 24, 2013

It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Summer...


So I have been home from college for a week already and this Summer is already flying by. Just last week my dad arrived at my dorm door with a collapsible hand truck he purchased just to move me out of my dorm, several bungee cords, and like 5 commercial sized trash bags. Moving out is no joke to my father. We proceeded to move all of my belongings out of my room. I like to consider myself a minimalist, but after moving out enough clothing and shoes to clothe half of Africa and enough craft supplies to stock your local Hobby Lobby, I began to re-think that label. Halfway between packing my eighth pair of colored ballet flats and my sixty-five marker Sharpie collection, I realized that I possess entirely too much stuff. But regardless, my dad and I succeeded in packing up the car in a way that defies all the laws of space and gravity and driving back to Maryland.

Since my homecoming I have done several important, and obviously life changing things. First off, as all of my loyal followers have probably noticed, I decided to change the template on my blog to something that was more fitting to the style of my writing than it's previous theme. I just felt that my current blog theme "Ethereal" really did not fit my tendencies to rant sarcastically and talk about food. Looking for a new theme that defined me did not prove as successful as I had hoped it would be. None of the things that I searched for rendered any results. "Naps" was a no-go, as was my search for "cheetos." Naturally after those fails I did not even try "viral cat memes" or "pithy remarks." Instead I settled on one called "Matala" because if that doesn't scream cheeto-loving, sarcastic college blogger, I don't know what does.

A few days into break, I decided to renew my gym membership from last summer. After a lengthy ordeal with the BRILLIANT (read: complete idiot) girl that worked the front desk, I was officially one of those people who pays to run, walk and bike nowhere and lift heavy pounds of nothing. Because while I really do like going to the gym, the irony of "running" 10 miles without actually going anywhere and "lifting" 100 pounds without actually accomplishing anything is not lost on me. (Disclaimer: I neither run 10 miles nor lift 100 pounds on a regular basis… but hopefully that is obvious.) My first day back to the gym I rolled in wearing my knock-off Nike shorts that are actually from Walmart and my sporty bra, and proceeded to do a standard workout, one that I am used to and have done probably 50 times. 
I thought I would go easy on myself the first day back, ease into the Summer workout plan that will inevitably devolve into me paying $10 a month to drive by the gym guiltily on my way to and from work. But apparently I was not easy enough on myself, because at the end of my workout I proceeded to pass out. Now I have never passed out in my life. I don't do things like that. I give blood, and run for miles, and go without eating for hours and I am completely fine. But not that day. No, instead I found myself on the floor surrounded by well-meaning elderly folks and mothers and, of course, another "brilliant" desk attendant, all of whom were very worried about my well-being. I was mostly worried about my pride, which at that moment had taken an incredible hit, but I managed to convince them I was fine, that I didn't need emergency treatment, and that this was just a low blood sugar incident or something. I sincerely hope this never happens again, but from the whole experience I gained a huge dose of humility, a free juice, and a pounding headache. It was a treat.

The only other thing I've really done since being home, aside from an alarming number of hours playing computer games and watching an obscene number of 90s sitcom re-runs, has been to return to the Italian Ice shop that I have worked in for the past five summers. But more on that later. I wouldn't want to give away all of the fun in my first Summer blog post! What does Summer have in store for me, you may ask? Well a lot of working, and hopefully a lot of fun, but definitely a lot of blogging, because nothing fuels my sarcastic synapses like this Maryland Summer heat, so stay tuned, because by the looks of this first entry, you are in for one WILD (read: mundane, and completely ordinary) ride!

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