Why Being Skinny is Overrated

So, I began today with a new goal to be skinny by summer break. Okay. Maybe not skinny, but really just able to fit into my jeans again (because my yoga pants are actually beginning to show some wear… and that is a struggle) and I would love the ability to climb a flight of stairs without having to disguise my heavy breathing with some well-timed yawns (come on, people, we've all been there). But seriously, after semi-failing at lunch and eating some chicken sandwich thing, and having the world's strangest salad with a lot of strange unidentifiable objects in it at dinner, I'm sitting here right now with the "food drawer" of my desk (yeah, it's a thing) opened, oogling the latest bag of cheetos that my sorority sisters bought me. (They completely feed my addiction, and I love them for it.)

It leads me to contemplate: is it really worth it? Is being skinny really that great, or is time to break out the bag of chocolate truffles I have hidden in my "teaching resources" box? See, I think the reality is: that just like blondes, curvy girls just have more fun, and here are 13 reasons why:

1.  You know that picture that says, "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels"? Well I beg to differ. Now I've never been skinny, but um, are you really telling me that it's as great as cheese fries, bacon, milkshakes, a delicious juicy cheeseburger or cookies straight out of the oven? Probs not.

2. There are some seriously hot curvy women. Um Marilyn Monroe is like America's sex symbol, and hello, BEYONCE. Just saying.

3. I have visibly witnessed people on diets literally drooling at the sight of pizza or other food that tastes good. Is that really so much more attractive then some healthy curves?!

4. One of my sorority sisters also made me this list of songs appreciating big butts. And if multiple genres of music have this kind of love for booties, then how can we argue?

5. No one wants to be that person who says they're not eating fries because they're on a diet, but then proceeds to steal fries off of everyone else's plate. Don't be a fry stealer.

6. There is nothing less fun than going to the gym just to run on the treadmill to nowhere or lift heavy pounds of metal just to set them right back down. I don't care what people say about "endorphins" or "science" just go casually observe people in the gym, and tell me if they look like they're having half as much fun as people eating ice cream right now.

7. If you never try to lose weight in the first place, then you never have to feel guilty for inevitably gaining it back.

8. And there's no such thing as a "cheat day" in your diet, because every day is filled with good food!

9. I know we were ignoring "science" earlier in number 6, but I think we can trust it when it says that men like curvy women! They actually prefer them for a bunch of reasons that you can google if you really want to. Yeah, that's right. The internet says so too, so girls you have it from at least two reliable sources.

10. Want to feel skinny? Buy a "skinny mirror," use photoshop, or just turn down the lights. INSTANT SKINNINESS. And you can eat a milkshake while do all that.

11. The phrase "fat and happy" exists for a reason, people.

12. So does the phrase "more to love."

13. During the time I've been working on this blog post, I have gone from "relatively hungry" to "starving" to "contemplating eating my arm" status. I blame salad. If I had eaten a cheeseburger for dinner, this would not have been a problem. Skinny people food is actually having the opposite affect it should have on me.

Honestly, there are probably more reasons but my nutrient-starved body really needs more real food to come up with them. But the bottom line is, being skinny is not all it's cracked up to be. I read recently, that nothing is sexier than a woman who is confident in her own skin–except a woman who is confident in her own skin AND would like an order of cheese fries. And I would absolutely support that truth.

Now excuse me while I go order some limited-edition Oreos off of Amazon that I spent half of a class searching for today while simultaneously scarfing down a bag of sour gummy worms.