Confessions of a Grammar Snob

1. I Google words to make sure I am spelling them right/using them in the correct context and syntax at least once a week

2. Sometimes I scroll through Facebook or Twitter not to read people's statuses, but to troll for grammar errors- and then promptly judge those who post them.

3. I said the sentence, "He's very handsome, but I couldn't marry him- his grasp of homonyms and homophones is practically non-existent!" just last week

4. In high school I purchased a $20 T-shirt that said, "To Infinitives and Beyond!" with a Grammar superhero on it and wore it to school on the only dress-down (uniform optional) day we had all year. (And I wonder why I was single in high school… honestly.)

5. Every time I see a misplaced apostrophe, turning something possessive that should not be, I lose a year off my life. And based on the current trend of apostrophe use in America, it looks like I only have 3-4 years left at this point.

6. The other day when I walked past Victoria's Secret I couldn't focus on the fact I was supposed to be criticizing the scantily clad women, I was too busy criticizing the sign that said "You've never seen body's like this" (There goes another year of my life, thanks to an apostrophe crisis)

7. I actually laugh at pictures like this: 
   
8. The comma is not just meaningless punctuation for me, the comma is my friend. I love them almost as much as I love Cheetos. Okay maybe that's a bit of hyperbole. But I do like commas. I even wrote a lengthy, satirical poem about them.
9. I know what hyperbole means. And I use it often, both the word and the figure of speech.
10. I subscribe to the Grammar Girl podcast, I have liked her Facebook page and followed her on Twitter, and I own multiple books she has written.
11.  When you use the word "literal" it makes me question your very existence… Did you literally die? Is this literally the worst thing ever? Are cheetos literally the only food you eat? There are other ways to exercise your powers of hyperbole. Consider them.
12. I've actually blocked people on Facebook, not because they were incredibly rude or annoying, but because their horribly misspelled, grammatically atrocious stream-of-consciousness statuses were raising my blood pressure. 
13. Last week I doodled "I love Strunk and White" all over my Mod Civ notes in class after my professor briefly mentioned Elements of Style. This is real life people. (Forget being single in high school… now I know why I'm STILL single…)
14. Every time I see an error in any sort of publication my cruel little heart skips a beat as I congratulate myself for catching the mistake and then I subsequently judge the publisher for such an oversight.
15. This picture is a fair representation of my life: 
    

Is there anything that you are especially pedantic about? Leave it in the comments! However, be warned, I'll be checking your grammar!