Skinny > Kind

When did calling someone fat become more of an insult than calling someone a bitch? When did insulting someone's weight become more hurtful than calling someone selfish? Or greedy? Or vain? Why is it socially acceptable for people to be rude and self-serving, but God forbid they not look good in a bathing suit?

I have never been a "skinny" person. In fact, for a lot of my middle and high school years I was considerably overweight. But in the family I grew up in, being "fat" was never a reason to lose confidence, and being overweight wasn't an obstacle to reaching your full potential. So I grew up blissfully unaware that being smart, driven, independent, kind, loving, selfless, or hardworking wasn't as valuable in society as being "skinny."

All that changed when I went to college, and for the first time people around me didn't tiptoe around the fact I was overweight. In fact, for many of the girls I was around, talking about their bodily flaws was an all-consuming hobby, that they needed to devote more time to than classes. So with my eyes finally opened to what was really important- that is, being skinny- I realized just how far from bodily perfection I really was. When I looked in the mirror I didn't see my bright blue eyes anymore, I saw my fat thighs and my flabby arms. A confident smile could no longer distract from the love handles or the round belly. Being the overachiever that I was, I knew that meant I needed to change. So I worked my ass off (literally!) and lost 50 pounds my first year of college.

When I went home for breaks, everyone was astounded at how different I looked. People poured on the compliments. "Wow, you look so good! Does it feel nice to lose so much weight?" "Oh, Megan you're skinny now, how wonderful." "You look so different. It's great. You're so pretty now." But at that point it was too late. I didn't feel skinny, or pretty or better. I felt deluded. All these people I had trusted growing up were now affirming what I had learned to be true. It doesn't matter what's on the inside, unless you are pretty on the outside. I thought my confidence, and intelligence and hard work had been what mattered most, but when all we could talk about was my weight, those things didn't seem to matter.

All of these people were lovely and encouraging, but unfortunately it was not what I needed to hear. I needed to be pulled from the trap I had fallen in; the trap that made me reduce my entire self-worth to my dress size.

I hope if you're reading this, you're identifying with me. I hope you can see what society does, through marketing and media, how it feeds our deepest insecurities to get us to buy into the lie that what's on the outside is more important than what is on the inside. But mostly I hope that you wish this would change. I hope you desire a culture where being "fat" does not become the tragic flaw that being selfish or arrogant or rude should. I hope that when you look in the mirror you no longer stare at your outward flaws and wish to change them, but instead meditate on how your inward flaws can be changed. How you can use your unique personality to change a culture that is ruining a person's self-image before they're even fully developed.

There is nothing wrong with taking care of your body and making healthy choices. Those things are important too. But don't let that become your identity. If you're spending more time looking in the mirror than you are serving others, then it's time to re-evaluate. Love your body and focus on your soul. It's what's going to last, and it's what you're going to want to invest in. Don't be so worried about being "pretty" that you forget to be pretty kind, pretty smart, pretty funny, and pretty strong. In the end, that's the kind of person I want to spend time around, even if you're so "fat" and "ugly" we have to keep the lights dimmed. :)